Thursday, April 29, 2010

Say it out loud?

"The most common response I have received from readers of 'The Road Less Traveled' has been gratitude for my courage, not for saying anything new, but for writing about what they had been thinking and feeling all along, but were afraid to say."

~ M Scott Peck MD

A friend of mine just posted this quote on facebook. These past two weeks have been filled with wrestling with how and when and where to say what I'm thinking and feeling. As I have spoken my truth - truth that, as another new connection of mine said tonight in an email, is both dangerous and liberating - I've wondered whether what I thought and felt resonated with anyone else.

I've also puzzled over the appropriate ways and the best places to speak my truth. Am I effecting change, edifying others, emanating love? Can I do all of those things at the same time? Sometimes the truth - as I see it - seems hard. Sometimes confronting injustice doesn't feel loving at all. Often, I wonder if change is even possible.

I think I'm in a bit of an identity crisis. I'm in a lull in my professional journey, with nothing to do but wait. And the next steps are not defined. What do I want to be about? Where do I want to invest my energy? Can I do what I want to do effectively from where I now stand - or do I have to shift? What costs come with the choices?

I haven't really articulated my dreams. There is a lot of energy around the blogosphere right now about dreaming big. Putting it out there. Letting action follow intention. Taking risk. Speaking truth. I want to be able to throw caution to the wind... but then fear rears its head and the voices of the gremlins get louder.

So - my goal for this downtime is to get clearer about my intentions. To face the fear and put the dreams into words. To be purposeful about what I say and what I do instead of letting the fear and the old voices drive me to reaction.

So stay tuned - I'm going to see what I can say - out loud....


  1. I feel you are on the brink of something big RC..I sense a shift. You have so much to stinkin much. Just let it go. It's beautiful and needed and encouraging and loving and and and..

    I have been benefiting from it for a couple years now. Show everyone else.

    I love you

  2. Who is the 'I' that wants to throw caution to the wind? Just notice, it's not the gremlin.

    I completely agree with Strandgirl, have so much to stinkin' much.

    As I said in my last post, when we let go it's like building muscle memory, but it is really building trust. For me, it's trusting that what wants to be said is coming from a deep place of love for me, for life, the Big Love. That Big Love I can fall into, and let go from, every time.

    It is stepping into the dark, the void...the void is a rich, full place of everything. What a luscious place to create from.

    I look forward to being served up a full platter of all that is cooking inside you. When the time goes off, I'll be here to nourish myself at the banquet you serve up, my dear.