"Wisdom tells me that I am nothing; love tells me I am everything.
Between the two, my life flows."
Jeanie Miley used this quote in her blog post this morning, a third post in a series of four about ambiguity. This series is part of a larger set of posts exploring the book by Jim Hollis What Matters Most: Living a More Considered Life. Go explore, it's good stuff.
Brené Brown is hosting a discussion of enough and worthiness this week on her blog in conjunction with the release of a CD of her work.
And it all has me thinking. In the depths of a particularly painful increase in consciousness not terribly long ago, I cried out in despair "If I am okay just as I am, why do I need to be transformed?" That question echoes the quote from Jeanie's post this morning, and it's a question I don't know if I have the answer to.
Yet I do believe deeply in the inherent worth of every life. I see the divine spark in every soul. We are indeed worthy, now. We are indeed enough just as we are. Yet the ambiguity is that we all still need the transformation.
Part of the trick for me is in listening to my Self, my soul, and following where she leads me. Constantly "stuff" floats up from within that forces me to look deeply at my life, see the rough areas I need to polish, feel the dark emotions I need to express, move through the fear to do something out of my comfort zone. The push comes from within, from a divine place that holds me in the fire until I am transformed.
And the other half of the trick is in NOT listening to the voices that want me to play small. The voices that say "you are too fat, too lazy, too insecure, too neurotic, too harsh, too imperfect to matter". The voices that tell me I am not enough and never will be. Those voices - whether internal or external - have to be silenced. Because they strip me of my worth.
How do we strike a balance between the need for forward movement, growth, yes - transformation and a healthy view of our worth, our goodness, our power, our light? Holding the opposites hurts. Finding the ground, even if it is shifting, where I can own my power while at the very same time owning my flaws proves incredibly difficult most days. So maybe it isn't about finding that sweet spot - but as the quote says - flowing back and forth between the two ideas. Like water flowing produces energy, in the movement of our lives between the two poles of wisdom and love we find the transformation.