The Cost

What did it cost, this lesson you’ve learned? 
A friend of mine asked me one day.

It cost me much more than I ever kept score…
More than I’ve wanted to see.

It can’t begin to equate the price that I’ve paid
in all of the ways I love and relate, back then and even today.

It cost me the chance to laugh and to dance
while the music of youth brightly played.

It cost me my smile, at least for a while,
but I found it again on the way.

It cost me my voice and it cost me the choice
to do just as I pleased.

But some choices come back and my voice does not lack
the power I know it now needs.

It cost me the faith, the hope, and the love
that I had been taught must come from above. 

But faith, hope and love, I’ve discovered since then,
are found at their best when they come from within.

It cost me my friends, some old and some new,
because I was silent and sullen and blue.

It may cost me yet, much more than I’ve bet,
more than I’m willing to pay.

But the friends that I’ve gained, and the lessons through pain,
and the joy that I’ve found deep within…
May not merit the cost of all that I’ve lost,
yet there’s no way I’m trading them in.

They stand as the prize for the race that I’ve run,
I carry them wherever I go. 

They give me the strength to stand and to speak
and to stay on this journey, be it ever so slow.

What did it cost?  I can’t really say.  There’s no way to turn back the clock.
I have no way to know where I might be today
without this detour I’ve been forced to walk.

But onward I go, and as I do I just know
that the beauty I’ve seen can’t compare.

The things that I’ve lost and the price that they’ve cost
will forever be counted and weighed.

But given the choice,
I’ll take what I’ve gained through the suffering and pain
and treasure the lessons I’ve learned. 

They stay with me now, polished and prized,
as bright badges of life that I’ve earned.